The most intimidating preshow ever, featuring S-I-R: Part 3A of our Disney Groundbreakers Series.

The most intimidating preshow ever, featuring S-I-R: Part 3A of our Disney Groundbreakers Series.

New script for the 2nd pre-show

The first pre-show remained the same, with the same friendly while patronizing tone from the presentator and L.C. Clench.

X-S Tech fanfare plays as we move from the first preshow.

Announcer (A): Attention visitors, please continue to move all the way into our demonstration area.  We would like to make sure that everyone in your group has the opportunity to view the true wonders of XS-Tech.  Thank you.

(A): In order to accommodate the various life forms here today, we ask that you proceed all the way across the row, moving as close as possible to the portrait of our esteemed leader, Chairman Clench.

(A): Attention please, we ask that you fill in all available space in each row of our viewing area, thank you.

XS-Tech fanfare ends with “we’re seizing the Future.”

(A): And now, to tell you more about living life with X-S, here is once again, Chairman Clench.

Chairman Clench (CL): By now, you must be wondering how X-S Tech can help you seize the future.  Well, wonder no more.  Here to show you how, here is our most advanced cyberbotic performance unit to date.

As Clench concludes his speech, we see the robot starting to move and stands up in a button noise in front of us.

S-I-R (S):  Ahhhh.  Welcome weary travellers to the great big universe of X-S.  You may call me SIR.  That is S-I-R, which stands for Simulated Intelligence Robotics. 

Skippy the prisoner (P): Interrupts, calling out S-I-R.

(S):  What do you want Skippy?  (in a snappy tone)

(P): Speaking childishly: I want to go out.

(S): No…  You may not get out. You’re our lucky… volunteer. 

(P): No….

(S):  Dear friends, you’re probably asking what can the galactic leader in sophisticated technology can possibly do for me? Well, how would you like to travel anywhere, anytime at the touch of a button? Science-fiction?  No!

S-I-R activates his ominous machine, causing Skippy to whimper in fear.

(S):  Behold the X-S Series 1000, the first in a complete line of personal and commercial teleportation systems capable of sending bright-eyed biological lifeforms like yourselves and even lower lifeforms like Skippy.

(P):  growls his disapprobation at S-I-R comment toward him.

(S): From one place to another instantly.  In a moment, I will break down our fuzzy little friend into a mass of molecules, send those molecules through the air above your head and reconstruct them in the tube over here as good as new.  And now, witness for yourselves the wonders of X-S teleportation. 

Skippy’s tube fills up with smoke, sparks and lights.

(S): Phase 1 of the process has begun, disintegration into molecular components.

Skippy screams echoes through the room as the tube appears to be empty.

(S):  Don’t worry, it’s practically painless.  And now, the second phase.  The molecules are beamed to the receiving chamber where atom by atom, we reconstruct our carefree traveller.

More noise from Skippy as he reappears in the other tube.  Comedically, the chime of a ready toaster indicates the process is complete.  Skippy’s appearance has changed, with glowing eyes and burned fur.

(S):  And here is the little skipper now. 

(P): Mumbles about his appearance.

(S): Oh shut up scruffy, you’re not burned, you just got a healthy glow.

Sparks appear on Skippy and he shocks himself when he touches the tube

(P): Skippy, you just reminded me of a feature that I absolutely love.  With a mere touch of a button, the entire process can be reversed.  Bon Voyage…. (in a very scary tone)

Skippy starts to disappear

(S):  This is my favorite, it can be suspended indefinitely.

Skippy last scream echoes through the room

(S):  My dear friends, you’ve just witnessed a small sample of the awesome power of X-S teleportation.

A scary theme starts playing as S-I-R launches into his passionate speech.

(S): But wait, there’s much more.  Imagine if the trip were not merely the width of this room, but the breadth of a galaxy!  The span of the universe!  Well, imagine no more.  Because soon one of you will be taking that trip, one of you will seize the future with X-S.

The presentation concludes with the rude announcer coming back on the PA.

(A):  Attention visitors, please gather your belongings, including smaller carbon-based lifeforms, and proceed to your right into our testing chamber.  There you will experience the wonders of X-S Teleportation for yourselves.

(A):   Please, proceed to the testing chamber immediately.  Don’t miss your chance to be seized by X-S.

(A): For your own safety, we insist you leave this area now.  MOVE IT!

Guests then proceeded to one of the two Testing Chambers.   The new script and effects were a lot more efficient and timed better with the gags and screams. For example, the broken analysis module segment was cut, with the shoulder restraints operated right at the show’s start.  The rude announcer continued with her snarky comments:

(A):  Please select and proceed all the way to the end of that row.  Remember, the future waits for no one, not even… you.

(A):  Attention earthlings, for the success of our demonstration, we insist you remain upright.  Keep your arms by your side, your feet firmly planted on the floor.  X-S regulations require all lifeforms be properly seated, or the demonstration will be terminated.  Thank you for your submission. 

Teleportation Chamber

Here is a ride-through of the revised script, which started abruptly on the screens, as we interrupt an argument between two aliens about something that’s not ready.  They are in a futuristic chamber with a large tube behind them. 

Dr. Femus (F): We need at least…

Spinlock (SP):  No more tests; we are about to go live

(F): Look, our other transmissions did not cover this kind of distance (Spinlock sighs).  Again, you are putting sales before science.

(SP):  Exactly, somebody has to be a role model. 

Dr. Femus turns toward the camera, realizing they are already live.  She proceeds to hit Spinlock and point toward the camera, making Spinlock realize we listened to their argument, changing to a friendly tone. 

(SP): Ahhh, people of Earth, greetings to each and every one of you!  I am Spinlock, X-S management-supervisor, speaking to you live from across the galaxy where we are all set for yet another spectacular demonstration.   Dr. Femus?

(F): Hello, I don’t think we should…

(SP):  We should waste another moment, I couldn’t agree with you more.  Ready when you are doctor.

The video shows the shoulder restraints, which start lowering on guests.

(F):   The analysis modules above your head will now lower into place,  Please remain seated in an upright position with your arms at your side.  When the modules touch your shoulders, they will stop automatically, so remain seated and do not interrupt their operation.

(SP):  I trust you were all impressed with our earlier demonstration, in which a living creature was teleported a short distance… in total comfort.  Now the time has come for one of you to experience something much more remarkable.  A journey through interstellar space via X-S teleportation.  Dr. Femus will now analyze your human physiology to determine which one of you is suitable for our demonstration.

(F):  Datalink online, analyzing now. 

Among bells and sounds, Dr. Femus starts the analysis program, which shows varied human silhouettes on the screens and red lights focusing on various test subjects in the room.  Finally, they settle on one “lucky” candidate.

(F):  This one might be adequate.  I’ll need to boost the IQ, there is a lot of genetic…

(SP):   And we got our lucky traveler to whisk across the galaxy.  In just a moment, the analysis module will rise.

Chairman Clench loudly enters the chamber Spinlock, and Dr. Femus are in, seemingly pushing aside underlings. 

Clench (CL):   I don’t care!  Step aside!  Ah Spinlock!

(SP):  Chairman Clench!

(CL):   So, is everything on schedule?

(F):  Well, to tell you the truth sir… (in a scared and panicked tone)

(SP):  We’re ahead of schedule. 

(CL): Excellent.

(SP) We just selected a volunteer. 

(CL):  It’s off.

(F):  Oh, good! (In a very relieved tone.)

(CL):  I’ve been seized.

(SP):  Something you ate sir?

(CL):  Seized with inspiration.  A new idea.

(F):  Oh, terrific.  (In a sarcastic tone)

(CL):  We’re live, right?

(SP):  Yes, very.

Chairman Clench approaches the camera, looking at us directly

(CL):  Hello everyone, I recalculated our plans.  You see, if, if we bring one of you here, well, we just get to meet one of you.  However, if I am teleported to Earth, I can meet each and every one of you, shake each hand and personally answer all your questions about the wonders of X-S.  I will be with you in just a moment.

(CL):  Prepare yourself for an unforgettable… encounter (with encounter said in the most omnious tone possible)

He walks toward the teleportation tube and enters it;. At the same time, the following part plays out, the blast shield covering our teleportation tube raises, exposing a glass tube.

(SP):  Huh, sir!  (followed by desperate and uneligible words)

(CL):  Remember Spinlock!  Doubt is the rust of a feeble mind!  The only way to seize the Future is to grasp the present.  Let’s go!

(SP):  Grasp the present?  Well, the chairman certainly has ways with words; what do you think Dr. Femus?  Shall we grasp?

(F):   Grasp, right,  but first I have to totally recalibrate (she struggles to push the buttons as fast as she can, as Spinlock pressures her on)

(CL):  Rust!  I am seized!  Rust!

(SP):  Ok, doctor?

(F):  I am going as fast as I can! 

(CL): Spinlock.

(SP):   Yes sir, Dr. Femus!

(F): What??!!!


(SP):  Must I do everything!

Spinlock pushes a lever in, generating smoke on the console’s side and a loud bang of static noises.

(F):  No, no, wait!  I didn’t lock the trajectory. We are not set up to go now!

(SP):  I didn’t realize! (In a panicked tone)

The teleportation tube on Clench side fills up with smoke as he starts screaming and disappearing.  The screen then say Teleportation in progress.  Strobes, flashing lights, alarm noises, and bells fill our room as the screen then flashes in red, indicating a problem.

(SP): Now what’s happening?

(F):  Another planet in our transmission path, it must have intercepted the signal.

(SP):  What?

(F):  Wait, I got something. 

(SP):  Boost the power and send him to Earth!

(F):  What if it’s not him?!?

(SP):  Of course it’s him. SEND HIM TO EARTH!

Teleportation in progress shows on the screen again, with the smoke in our teleportation tube swirling and moving.  It turns purple, indicating the process is underway. The strobes and lights, as well as sounds, go off again.

(SP):  Ladies and gentlemen, live and in person, Chairman Clench.

(There is now a figure in the tube, which we can barely see through the smoke.  It has flashy eyes and antennas…)

(F):  Huh, Spinlock, since when does Clench have wings?  (Femus is terrified when she mentions this line.)

(SP):  Wings? 

(SP):  It’s an ALIEN!

Heckler in the crowd(HE):  It’s my mother in law! 

The smoke starts to clear, showing a creature at least 6-7 feet tall ,looking like a nightmarish blend of a Xenomorph from the Alien movie and a praying mantis.   It has wings, a face with a mouth full of teeth, and talons that flay around as it spins to look at us.

(F): Analysing now!  Ornitherious, carnivorous…

(SP):  Carnivorous?  It eats meat?

(F):  Exactly genius!  Those people are in a lot of danger!

The Alien starts to attack the tube, creating more smoke.

(SP): Now, what’s happening?

(F):  The teleportation tube is starting to break!

(SP):  But it’s unbreakable!

As they say that, the room goes into complete darkness, as the deafening sound of the tube breaking burts out of the hidden speakers around the central set piece.  The smoke flows out of the now broken tube, showing the creature in its terrifying appearance.  The broken tube is done by sliding out the full tube and replacing it with the smashed one when the room is in darkness.

(SP):  It broke the tube!

(F):  We cannot let it get out!

(SP):  Activate the force field!

(F):  Activating now!

Light beams surround the creature in the tube.

(SP):  People of Earth, do not worry.  As long as those beams are on, the creature cannot fly out. 

The electrical system shorts out, deactivating the force field.  The room turns dark again; as thanks to the magic of the binaural audio system,  we can hear and feel the creature flying out of the tube.  When the lights dimly come back on, the tube is empty. 

(SP):  It’s out.  The Alien flew out!  Get it back in the tube before it eats someone! 

(HE):  Stop it!

(F):  I can’t! We just lost power. 


The creature growls in our ears, sending the audience in a panic as each person feels like the Alien is stalking them personally.  After, a cast member appears above our head on the catwalk with a flashlight, playing the maintenance worker’s part.

Maintenance Worker (MW):  Hey, hello!  Is everybody alright down there?

(HE):  No! We’re just screaming for the fun of it!

(MW):  X-S Lab, this is maintenance one, we’ve got major damage.  What’s happening in here?

(SP):  Just a blackout, find the auxiliary power switch. 

(MW):  No problem.

(F):  You can find it at the end of the first bridge, to your left.   

(MW):  Roger, already there.

We hear the Alien’s wings flapping and can tell he is flying toward the top part of the room. 

(MW):  X-S, did you hear that?

(SP):  Nevermind, just find the switch. 

(MW):  Roger.

On the screens, we see the image of what maintenance one is seeing. 

(F):  Good job, we got the signal of your night vision camera.

(SP):  Now show us the people in the chamber.

(MW):  Is something wrong?

(SP):  We just need to make sure that they’re alright.

(MW):  No problem. Folks!  There is nothing to be afraid of!  I’ll have this puppy up and running in a flash!  Now, where is that hatchway?

(F):  Right behind you.

(MW):  I’ve got it.

As he is operating the hatch, we hear the Alien up above us with his hissing.

(MW):  Woah, what in the universe could have done this?  Connect this half to…

He holds the loose plug and plugs it back in, shocking him.

(F):  Maintenance one, come in.  Can you see the problem?

The Alien roars as maintenance one turns around, revealing the Alien…

(MW):  I can see the problem…  Oh boy…

The Alien opens his mouth, sending his foul breath toward the camera as he approaches. Maintenance one screams in pain as the feed of his camera goes out.  Screams are piped in through speakers in the room, sending the real audience into another panic.  We then received water drops from the ceiling, horrifically simulating the blood of the unfortunate maintenance worker. 

(CL):  People of Earth, quiet!  Listen to me, don’t scream!

The audience keeps screaming, not listening to Spinlock’s insensitive advice.

(CL):  If you remain perfectly quiet, it probably won’t eat you. 

(HE):  Eww, whose brain is this?

(SP): No, no, I told you to stay quiet!

The Alien starts flying around the room in darkness.

(HE):  Alien! Don’t eat me, eat this one!

The sound effect of a punch, with an impact in our seat, punctuates that the heckling guest is defending himself.   The Alien then decides to land… right behind us.  This was the most terrifying and intense moment of the attraction, as we smelled and felt his foul breath sent through the shoulder restraint near our head.  Then, small pieces of strings were revealed behind our head; with blown air, it felt like the Alien was touching our head.  Many guests were in an uncontrollable panic. As a result, the cast members who monitored the room had to be vigilant to intercept guests who escaped the restraints due to the finale coming up.

After the very close encounter with the Alien, the lights in the tube come back on.

(F):  Spinlock!  We got power!

(SP):  Good, how do we get it back in the tube?

(F):  Just leave it to me!

Dr. Femus activated the speakers located in the tube, so her voice now comes from the room’s center.

(F):  Tube speakers activated.  Screaming now!

She lets out a long scream, which draws out the Alien from his hiding spot, and we hear it flying back toward us in the dark.  When the lights come back on, it is standing in the smoke-filled crashed tube, looking for its next meal.

(F):  It’s back in the tube.

(SP):  Boost the power, hurry!

The creature starts sparkling as it is getting electrocuted by the teleportation system.  It spins around, trying to escape. 

(SP):  Good, it’s working.  More power!

The creature is starting to smoke as the shocks get more intense and severe.

(F):  The creature is about to explode!

(SP):  Drop the shield!

The blast shield that covered the tube starts dropping down as it fills with more smoke, leading to a massive blast of smoke to fills the room as it closes as we hear the final explosion sound.

(HE):  My mouth was open!  

Spinlock and Dr. Femus return to the screens, addressing us.  The analysis modules start lifting at that moment. 

(SP):  Well, you see, there you have it.  A little glitch here and there, but I think you get the potential of X-S technology and all of that. We certainly apologize for any inconvenience.  But,  after all.

(F):  It does take time to seize the future. 

(SP):  Good Point

(F):  Thank you so much for coming.  Please exit out the open door, and don’t forget your belongings.

(SP):  The ones that haven’t been eaten. 

(F):  Thank you.

The video concludes with an ominous theme that leads us out of the right.  Those in the left chamber exited out near the water, behind the attraction building, and circled back toward the land, near Mickey’s Star Traders.  For the right room, which was used most of the time, guests exited in the Merchants of Venus gift shop, which sold merchandise related to the attraction.